NYCFC: The Expansion Memoirs "I’ve Forgotten What Victory Feels Like"
By Luca Morganti, enraged New Yorker
Four “starters” begin the day on the injury list, and considering how much they suck; I’m terrified to see who is waiting behind them. But hooray, David Villa plays for us and is mostly our team, so at least he’s there. This week, NYCFC face Houston Dynamo, a Western Conference team whose record (4-5-5, 17 pts), including this weekend’s result, would be good enough for third in the much weaker East.
And before I have to hear more shit about these “weird conferences in America – ew why do you do that?” consider this: The U.S. is 3,000 by 2,000 miles. Imagine having to play multiple teams as far apart as London to Lebanon multiple times a year and tell me it’s not a good idea to split us up into conferences. Thank you. Traveling within the United States is a bitch. That’s why we all come see you guys! It’s much more interesting than Texas.
The pain begins a quarter of the way in when a beautiful corner is headed down perfectly to this guy called Bruin, who hammers it home for an early Dynamo lead. I was on the other side of the field, so I’m not certain it was as pretty as it seemed (probably not – it’s MLS). But I can’t bear it, nor the pun I just made. I’m also surprised the opposition didn’t score in the supporters’ section’s face. That’s a bi-weekly occurrence for us.
Nothing of interest happens until the end of the half, when a strange floating cross into the box is handed away by a Dynamo player. Villa immediately calls for a penalty away from the play; it is eventually granted. Villa puts the ball in the net, and we’re tied (1-1) at the half.
Posted by The Third Rail on Saturday, 30 May 2015
There were a few shots “on target” (read: directly into the keepers’ hands) until the 87th minute, where we almost won the game! Poku, the new fan favorite, takes a ball down the tinsy-tiny left-side into the box and crosses it center box. The Dynamo keeper makes a good save, but it’s really an above average header on net, which we MLS fans come to appreciate after all the fuming garbage we’re made to watch.
That basically does it, and Our eleven game winless streak continues, but hey, we got a point this time. Per usual, I feel like the small pitch didn’t fit what the team is built to do. Per usual, David Villa is the only one who can do anything (including plea for a handball). Oh, and Vincent Kompany gave the fans a cool shoutout. Let the transfer rumors begin. Sigh, America.
Next week, we head to Philadelphia Union (3-3-8, 12 pts), who look like they may finish second-to-last in the East, only above yours truly, NYCFC (1-5-7, 8 pts). If only relegation were a factor in MLS, this might intensify a proximity (and proximity-to-failure) rivalry. But since it’s not, both teams can start looking to next year while presently rooting against the Red Bulls, taking solace in outdrawing our mutual rival allegedly in the playoff hunt.